How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Mom said you looked used
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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