dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize