i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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