Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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