my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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