I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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