you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
