Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
