I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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