"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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