I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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