just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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