so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
