i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
tell me about the eggs
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
