Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
