well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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