dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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