It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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