I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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