dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
