i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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