The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
