Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s

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(304): View more from West Virginia

You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".

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(310): View more from California

I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon

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(775): View more from Nevada

At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.

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