I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
