I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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