dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
