I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You were trust falling into bushes
I think people are normalizing furries
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
