I skipped work to stalk him.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
