Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(254): View more from Texas

When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.

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(913): View more from Kansas

What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(270): View more from Kentucky

Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.

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(765): View more from Indiana

That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition

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(503): View more from Oregon

Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.

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(330): View more from Ohio

When in doubt, it's too much cheese

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(727): View more from Florida

The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.

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