When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.