actually, I'm a sock model
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
