I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.