so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
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I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture