Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
