Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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