they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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