You made me cry and you don't even care
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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