I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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