he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Randomize
