JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
