i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
