Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
