Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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