Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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