we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
