Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
