i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
