As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
