So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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