Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
