I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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