after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
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cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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