the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
