Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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