I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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