Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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