He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
