I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
