I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
